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Magazine Testimonies
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Pilot Magazine Testimonies :: First Issue Testimonies :: Second Issue Testimonies
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It was an experience I will remember to my dying day. It occurred on the last day of a weeklong retreat for young men. I wanted our final gathering to be an occasion for each of us to rid himself of a sin. Earlier that day, we had been hiking in the mountains, and I had said to them: Everybody pick up a stone. It will represent what separates us from Jesus, a symbol of something that stands between us and a full understanding of Him. Tonight, during our final prayers, we will set them down in the chapel. Perhaps this way we will leave at least one of our sins behind. It was now late evening on the eve of the Epiphany. I was praying with the boys in front of the Holy Sacrament. There were twenty of them, mostly high school students in their senior year. Wondering what future lay ahead of them, I prayed for them in silence: Jesus, watch over them. Holy Spirit, guide them, provide them with your gifts of wisdom, counsel, fortitude, as well as skills... Suddenly, a piercing scream broke the silence of our meditation. I heard the sound of a stone hitting the wall behind the altar, followed by the words: “Missed again, I always miss Him!” I turned and saw Arthur bent over by the wall, his body writhing in terrible convulsions, a horrible grimace on his face. I went up to him. As I bent down, he hissed at me: “Get away or I’ll kill you”. He ran to the window. I thought he was going to jump out, and became alarmed because the chapel was on the fourth floor. I am not an exorcist, but I immediately knew what had taken control of Arthur’s body. “Let’s pray, let’s pray together”. It was the first thought that came to mind. “Pray!” I shouted to the boys. But it had already crossed their minds too. Instinctively, they joined hands and started praying, with one voice, almost shouting: “Our Father who are in Heaven...” I grabbed Arthur and pushed him down hard on the floor. He was squirming in every direction. Soon realizing that he was too strong for me to handle, I asked the boys for help. As Jack came up, we heard the following menacing words, which were clearly meant deter him: I know you, I know your sins, I know your past, and you’ll be ashamed. I can’t let this happen, I thought, and stopped Arthur’s mouth with my hand. Moments later, on removing my hand, I heard the most appalling oaths and blasphemies imaginable being shouted at God the Father, Jesus, Our Lady, and the Pope. The horrible utterances stood in stark relief to the other boys’ collective prayer. We were all bunched in a group. Only Peter stood some distance away. Arthur turned toward him and looked into his eyes. The look sent Peter flying a good few yards. Terrified, he tried to leave the chapel, but one of the boys stopped him. After that, we formed a circle and prayed on. Taking the relics of St. Faustina, St. Francis of Assisi and Honoratus Kozminski from the altar, I placed them close to the stricken boy’s face. We heard a roar, more curses, laughter and then a question dripping with demonic sarcasm: “Is that all you can think of? Can’t you find a better way of exorcism?” Arthur’s body began to shake more and more. “Give me half an hour and you will see how many of them will stay with you,” he said to me. “Who are you? What is your name?” I asked. “I won’t tell you.” “I order you to leave Arthur’s body.” “All right, but I’ll only enter somebody else’s.” “What is your name?” I repeated. “Beelzebub,” came the answer. “In the name of Jesus Christ, I command you, Beelzebub, to leave Arthur’s body.” “There are many of us,” he answered. I recalled all I knew about Arthur, all the problems he had been facing, then started naming these problems aloud, one by one, treating them as evil spirits. I ordered them to depart from Arthur’s body, all the while making signs of the cross with the Holy Sacrament in the monstrance. When Arthur became a little calmer, I asked him to repeat after me. “Jesus is my Lord. Say it, Arthur! Jesus is my Lord...” His body squirmed. He trembled visibly, but one could see that the evil powers were losing strength. Finally, he whispered in a very low voice. “Jesus is my Lord.” He repeated once more: “Jesus is my Lord.” The other boys sang out, “Christ triumphs...” I felt a surge of enormous joy. But Arthur whispered to me: “Father, there’s still another one...” The struggle began anew. Suddenly Arthur’s gaze became fixed on one point. “Our Lady’s here” – he said. I shouted to the boys, “Quick, pray to Our Lady,” and we began reciting the Hail Mary. After a few minutes of this, Arthur became quieter. Still, there was something about him that told me to be careful. I thought of other ways of setting him free. As if reading my mind, he told me he did not want to be delivered of the last evil spirit, because this one was responsible for all his knowledge. But I was not prepared to give up. I pushed the monstrance hard into his face and ordered the spirit to depart from Arthur’s body. “Say, The Virgin Mary is my Queen’,” I told Arthur. I cannot remember how many times I repeated these words. I thought that an act of devotion to Our Lady would deliver him from the possession. After finally uttering these words, he calmed down altogether. “It’s all over” – he said like one utterly exhausted. We picked him up and started praying together. Once again we placed our trust in Jesus and Our Lady. The boys prayed with great devotion. Some of them cried. Clearly, the whole experience had moved them deeply. Yet despite the calm and silence, I could not concentrate on the prayer. I was worried about the boys. “Where has the evil spirit gone?” I wondered. I suddenly felt moved by the Holy Spirit to have the boys touch the monstrance. They did so, all of them. It was then that a sense of indescribable joy and relief washed over us all. We hugged each other and cried for joy. God’s love seemed to fill us to overflowing. At that point, the paramedics,whom we had called earlier, arrived on the scene. They were shocked to see us – a priest and twenty boys crying, hugging and laughing by turns. On leaving the chapel, I once again asked Arthur if he knew where the evil spirit had gone. He pointed to the stones. That same night we dumped the stones in trash cans near the graveyard. Despite his terrible exhaustion and pain, Arthur was the first to make his confession that night. The next morning, smiling joyfully, he greeted us with a cheerful Praised be the Lord Jesus Christ! I could not help wondering why the demon had possessed Arthur. As I accompanied him to his home, I asked him directly: “How did it happen?” He told me his story. For a long time he had lived believing that God had abandoned him, that He no longer loved him. One day, when he was alone in his room, he became conscious of a presence around him. In fact, he had sensed this presence for quite some time. It was then that Arthur made his ill-fated decision. He removed the crucifix from around his neck and surrendered himself to the evil spirit, which then became his guide through life, his one master. I had not given it much thought before, but I now realize that as more people alienate themselves from God, demonic possession becomes more and more common. By rejecting God’s love, people open themselves up to the power of evil spirits. An exorcist recently told me: “I come across so many cases of possession that I couldn’t deal with them even if I worked 24 hours a day the year round.” I had known Arthur for some time. He was, as they say, “the life and soul of the party”. His friends looked up to him because of his uncanny intuition and prodigious memory. He could talk for hours, give people advice and solve difficult problems. How could he do all this? I know now that this power came from the evil spirit. If Arthur had not been cured of possession, he might very well have become a clairvoyant or a New Age therapist. After returning home from the retreat, Arthur consulted a psychologist and psychiatrist. They found no evidence of anomalies and referred him to an exorcist. During the exorcism sessions, the evil spirit talked to the priest in Latin and Hebrew. Arthur still has a couple of sessions left, but he will soon be a free man. The night the whole thing happened, Arthur told me he was not going to sleep in his room because there was a pentagram painted on the wall. I now know that Satan takes possession of places and objects that have been used to commit a sin. When we commitcommit a sin in a certain place, or with a certain object, we put these things under Satan’s control, just as consecrating a place or object puts them under God’s control. We ought frequently to dedicate the places we inhabit to God. There is much wisdom in the Church’s teaching that we bless our houses at least once a year. I could never understand why my aunt used to trace a cross over the door frame with a candle on the feast of the Presentation of the Lord. I know now why we mark our door frames with holy chalk and why we hang crucifixes over the door. We ought to remember that crosses and holy pictures are there to protect us against evil spirits. The absence of holy water fonts and relics in our “domestic churches” is something to be regretted. When we accept these sacraments as gifts intended for our protection, we underscore the depth of God’s humiliation of Satan. Satan is forced to obey all those who act in the name of Jesus. Fr. Marek Jarzabek S.Chr. |
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| JESUS
ALWAYS PREVAILS!
Jack testifies, having witnessed the exorcism described by Father Marek. On the last day of our retreat, one of us boys turned out to be possessed by evil spirits. He suddenly stood up and hurled a stone at the monstrance bearing the Holy Sacrament. He missed, but the stone did damage to the woodwork behind the altar. He screamed out something like: Missed! I always miss Him! I will not describe the whole incident. The demoniac, Arthur, threatened to destroy my family and reveal all my sins, but the priest forbade him in the name of Jesus Christ. He ordered the evil spirits to come out of the boy’s body, and he did this all in the name of Our Savior. Arthur screamed all sorts of blasphemies against Jesus and Our Lady. He cursed St. Faustina and the Holy Father. Meanwhile, the rest of us (nineteen) boys, prayed the Our Father and Hail Mary aloud. The priest bent over the boy and prayed too. Joining hands, we formed a circle around them and the altar. That exorcism allowed me to see things with my own eyes. I am now one hundred percent convinced that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist. The only reason He conceals Himself in the holy bread is so that we should not die of joy and excitement at the sight of Our Savior. I had always believed this, but gave it little thought, as it was difficult to understand. Now I am sure of it. It is an immense grace I experienced. God trusted us so much that He offered Himself up to us in the form of bread. For this, I thank Him with all my heart. The exorcism also showed me what a priest can do in the name of Jesus Christ. The priest absolves our sins, and says the Holy Mass. In fact, he can do all things in the name of Jesus. With my own eyes I saw the priest expelling evil spirits. Now I know that Our Lord acts through His priests. What a wonderful gift Jesus bestowed upon us in His priests! After an hour of struggle, Arthur confessed his faith in Jesus Christ. It was so beautiful. When the spirits left Arthur, we wept like little children. The tears were tears of joy. Never in my life had I been so happy. I realized that we had just seen Christ triumph over Satan. It was a miracle. With our own eyes we saw what a priest can do in Jesus’ name. How much power there is in the priesthood! I am also convinced that Our Lady was with us throughout the entire incident. The evil spirit feared her. It said so itself. Instinctively, we sang out the hymn Jesus triumphs. It was a moment of great joy. I had never in my life prayed so devoutly. Jesus gave us the faith and courage to brave this “hour of struggle”, and witness His victory. Satan has great power, greater than man’s. But God is with us. Who need we fear if God is with us? As Father Marek said, We must continue to live in Christ, for Satan will keep on casting stones. But do not worry, he has never struck Christ, and he never will. The poor boy finally confessed his faith in Christ. I too confess, openly, in this magazine: Jesus Christ is my Lord and Our Lady is my Queen. Amen. Jack |
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HE CONSTANTLY SHOWS HIS GRACE AND MERCY We live in Tacoma on the West Coast of the United States. In the winter of 1989, our son Don, then aged 29, went on a ski trip with his friends to National Olympic Park. One day he fainted and fell to the ground. His condition was so grave that his friends had to carry him out of the Park. He
was quickly taken to the doctor. The diagnosis came as a shock.
Dr. Lee, an oncologist, told us he had malignant granuloma and that
the disease was in its most virulent stage. The doctors believed
Don could live no more than two weeks. He was soon admitted to a
hospital in Seattle, Washington. At first Don was full of hope.
Believing he would be cured by a miracle, he refused to be treated
medically. However, just two days before Don was to be operated on, our second son Robert experienced a terrible pain in the groin and was taken to the University Hospital in Seattle. Dr. Krieger, also an oncologist, diagnosed another awful disease: cancer of the testicles. As a result, a testicle had to be surgically removed as well as a part of the lymphatic system. Both Don and Robert underwent chemotherapy, which resulted in their losing their hair. Two weeks later, another malignant tumor was found in Robert’s right lung. That tumor was also removed, followed by another round of chemotherapy. Robert’s condition gave little cause for hope. Nevertheless, our son continued to believe he would be cured. My husband also had no doubt about this. His trust in God knew no bounds. I, on the other hand, was completely overcome. I lost all faith in God’s love. I had never imagined anyone could suffer so much. At times the pain I felt was so searing that I thought even death could bring no relief. At heart, I was convinced it was God’s punishment. For some years now, under the influence of books and discussions with friends, I had lived in the belief that the Church was hostile towards women. The resulting bitterness and sorrow caused me to stop going to church altogether. In a way, I had also separated myself from my family. But then, in a moment of hopeless suffering brought on by the incurable diseases of my sons, I decided to ask my family to pray with me. It was around this time that my sisters sent me the Novena to the Divine Mercy, and later, Blessed Maria Faustina Kowalska’s Diary. My whole family started praying for our sons’ recovery. I had never heard of Sister Faustina before. Nor had I heard of the Novena to the Divine Mercy. Nevertheless, our prayers were quickly answered. A spiritual calmness and a sense of trust in the unlimited power of Divine Mercy came over me. I became conscious of God’s solicitude for souls. Absorbing the Divine Mercy like a sponge, I prayed constantly. Alone, in the darkness of my bedroom, I entrusted my children, my husband, and myself to God’s mercy. For the first time in my life, I surrendered myself totally to God’s will. Before long, everything changed for the better. Don was released from hospital earlier than expected. Three weeks later, the medical tests confirmed that his body was completely free of malignant granuloma. The miraculous recovery astounded the doctors. Robert’s tests also showed that his cancer was gradually disappearing. After five more years of testing the doctors finally concluded that in both cases the disease was cured. That was five years ago. Today my sons enjoy good health. They are both working. Ten
years have passed since my own spiritual healing. All my old bitter
feelings towards the Church have gone. I strengthen myself spiritually
by attending daily Mass, receiving Holy Communion, and saying the
Rosary and the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. I never cease of be grateful
to God for the grace and mercy He constantly bestows on us. This
He bestows not only on my family but on every person, Josephine Duyungan, Tacoma, USA |
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| THANK
YOU JESUS - MY SON CAN SEE AGAIN!
I am writing this letter to tell you about my son’s miraculous recovery. I am convinced this miracle is an answer to our constant recitation of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and our close contact with the image of the Merciful Jesus. My tragedy (a tragedy only a mother can know) began on March 25, 1999. That day I took my three-month-old son to an eye specialist. I had already consulted with other doctors, but this time my son’s eyes were to be checked with the aid of the most advanced equipment. The test was stressful for both of us, and the diagnosis was cruel and final. My son’s eye nerves were degenerating. He would soon be blind. I did not stop with that visit. In search of help and hope, I consulted numerous other physicians. I constantly imagined that there existed some medicine or surgical procedure that would cure my son’s blindness. But the doctors always came back with the same reply: you cannot create what did not develop properly in the body. They told me to resign myself to the truth and teach my son to cope with the disease. They also urged me to love my son. I did love him. More and more so. But I could not live with the thought of him suffering so tragically. Being a Christian, I placed my trust in God. On March 26, the day after the diagnosis that changed the life of my family, my mother sent me a copy of your magazine containing an image of the Merciful Jesus. That image has remained with us ever since. What I am now about to tell you, I wish to shout from the rooftops. Jesus, I thank you! My son can see again! Yes, despite the fact that the diagnosis remains the same—eye nerve degeneration—my little boy can see well enough to pick bread crumbs off the floor. Dear God! It is a miracle. I am writing this to tell people to pray as I did, to recite the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. I want others to trust in Jesus, even as I did when I begged Him to let a drop of His Holy Blood rinse my son’s ailing eyes, and thus make him see. My son is now two years old. He still suffers from health problems, and there are the usual parental worries, but this is nothing compared to what we had to endure before. My son can see! I firmly believe that whatever the suffering may be, Your Mercy, Lord, will cure it. I give you my maternal pledge to raise my son as Your faithful servant. I address the following words of hope to all those who are sick and suffering, all those who find themselves in extremely difficult situations, all those who think there is no way out of their problems. Seek the Merciful Heart of Jesus, which bleeds for us with compassion and with an outpouring of graces. In no time you too will be testifying to miracles in your lives, and telling others of God’s close contact with you. We still have the image of Jesus which we cut out of your magazine. We venerate it deeply. My son, Karol, has it with him wherever he goes. He loves it, embraces and kisses it often. So far, he has only a slight understanding of what occurred, but when he grows up, he will come realize the full extent of Jesus’ role in curing his disease. He will know that the Merciful Jesus is, and will remain, his friend forever. Beata, Karol’s mother |
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OUR JOURNEY WITH HUMANAE VITAE REVISITED
“[Openness to life] bestows upon family life fruits of serenity and peace, and facilitates the solution of other problems; it fosters attention to one’s partner, helps both spouses drive out selfishness, the enemy of true love; and it deepens their sense of responsibility. By its means, parents become capable of a deeper and more efficacious influence in the education of their offspring; children and young people grow up with a correct appreciation of human values, and enjoy a serene and harmonious development of their spiritual and sense faculties.” (Humanae Vitae, 21) In 1972, just weeks after the birth of our second daughter, my wife and I decided that I should be sterilized for birth control purposes. The decision was taken much too lightly, but given our extreme youth (we were university students barely into our twenties when we married in 1969), our ill-formed consciences, our precarious economic situation, the prevailing concerns over the so-called “population explosion”, the ambiguous direction coming from certain quarters of the Church, our course of action was hardly surprising. The
consequences of our decision did not become apparent to us right
away. Things of this nature rarely do. But as we look back on those
seventeen years between the birth of our second daughter I wish
I could say that our decision to restore my fertility in 1987 was
any better considered than my decision to be sterilized. It wasn’t.
It is to our loving Father, His grace and mercy, that we give credit
in this case. Even with His help, our journey proved to be a comedy
of errors, indecision Once
we had given Him an inch of faith and responded, however feebly,
to the grace which He had extended to us, our loving Father, never
to be outdone in generosity, gave us a mile of additional graces.
At the age of forty two and forty five, and to the continued delight
of our daughters, my wife conceived and gave birth to two more healthy
sons. In the process (this during the early 1990s) we were led rapidly
through a head-spinning conversion to discover, and finally to understand
and appreciate, the wealth of the teachings of the Church, especially
on the subject of marriage and family ethics. Like prodigal sons,
we had returned home to be re-clothed in fine robes. Doubt, discord Just as after His Resurrection, Jesus gave Peter three chances to make good his three denials, God gave us three additional living opportunities by which to say yes to life. Our boys are now thirteen, eleven and seven years old. They bring inexhaustible cheer to our household which grows apace as our daughters, married, in their early thirties, visit us with their own growing families. In briefly sharing our experience here, we are mindful of that growing number of the clergy and faithful who have discovered too late the long-term harmfulness of not preaching or following the Church’s sexual ethics, and for whom physical reparation is not possible or, as in the case of a priest, not applicable. As far as our priests are concerned, the solution is simple but by no means easy. They must resume preaching what Mother Church has always taught. As for the laity, here is something they might consider. Young married couples who have resolved to be open to life in our present “culture of death” find themselves under the gun on many fronts, not the least of which is the economic one. Rearing a numerous family on a single income (which, practically speaking, is the result of such a decision) flies in the face of our modern, less-than-benign economic system. Many young families are struggling to keep their heads above water. In many cases such families are marginalized in the community. Here is where older, formerly contraceiving couples, beneficiaries of a bygone, more equitable economy, many of whom enjoy early retirement and have time to spare, can practise what might be called a “secondary fertility”. The most valuable service they can render these families is their unconditional moral support—primarily through prayer. Since prayer leads to action, there is also a host of practical ways in which they can help these young families. Some are in a favourable position to help financially; others, especially retirees, are free to move and settle close to their struggling children’s families; they can relieve the overworked parents by baby-sitting (especially when there is sickness in the family); some can donate their free time helping with schooling and tuition. And rather than trade in their car every three or five years for a new one, they might consider donating it to a faithful young family. Why not pass up an annual or twice-yearly vacation and send that family on a subsidized holiday; or open an educational trust fund for their grandchildren. And what about witnessing to that family’s struggle at a Catholic Women’s League meeting or to the browbeaten pastor who lacks the confidence to speak out on sexual ethics? Contraception is a blight on the entire Body of Christ. It is too large a problem to be dropped in the lap of our young married couples. All sectors of the Church must be marshalled in its eradication. It is arguably, in our culture at least, the greatest single cause of our failure to pass on the authentic Catholic faith to our children. Recent sociological surveys have shown that far and away the main cause of children falling away from the faith of their parents is dysfunctionality in the parents’ relationship, and discord is one of the most predictable bitter fruits of the contraceptive lifestyle. What more dramatic protest can children voice against their Catholic parents’ lack of love for each other than to reject what the latter purport to hold dearest—their faith! On the other hand, children who witness on a daily basis their parents’ generous love for one another are far more likely to wish to preserve the wellspring of that love, that same Christian faith; for as Saint Paul teaches us, spousal love stands as a type of the love existing between Christ the Groom and His Bride, the Church. Christopher A. Zakrzewski Christopher
Zakrzewski is former editor of Nazareth |
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“I truly love Agatha and she loves me. Doesn’t love alone give us the right to have sex ? Why should we wait until we are married?” (Peter, 19 years old) Dear Peter, To understand why you ought to wait, first think about what God is telling you about love and sex. His views on these matters differ radically from those of modern and pagan times. The ancients worshipped gods and goddesses of sex. Today you can see a real cult of sex as well. You simply need to look at the flood of pornographic material, sex shops, exotic nightclubs, etc. Many writers of popular magazines are feeding young people the line that sexual pleasure and its most intense experience are what are most important. Their “morality” goes something like this: if you are physically capable of having sex, indulge this pleasure as much as you like. If only you have the urge and opportunity, you can satisfy your sexual desires without fear of consequences. Anyone with anyone. In any way. At every opportunity. These writers not only reject Jesus’ teaching about love and human sexuality, but also pervert these values, make a mockery of them. As a free person you are perfectly entitled to reject the commandments. You can chose to believe all those who make fun of what our loving God says about sex. But first you owe yourself an answer to the following question: is there a logical argument disproving the truth of what Holy Scripture has to say about love and human sexuality? Scripture tells us “whoever rejects this, rejects not human authority but God” (1 Thes 4: 8). What does Holy Scripture teach us about sex? From the Book of Genesis (1:27-28) we learn that sex and sexuality are from God, and constitute a vital part of our humanity. Our Creator willed that the sexual act should be 1) an expression of love in marriage, 2) the locus in which he creates every human being, and 3) a source of great pleasure for the married couple. Sex and sexuality were created and given to us by God. There is nothing evil about this gift. Physical desire for the opposite sex, seeking physical union, and the pleasure attending the sexual act, are all part of our sexual make-up as created by God. In themselves, these things are good. If we look at sex from the standpoint of biology, we see that the bodies of men and women are so constructed as to achieve the union of the sperm with the egg, and to give rise to new life. The sexual act is a locus of God’s powerful presence. It is there, in the physical union of a man and woman, that He lovingly creates a new person. For this reason, Holy Scripture sternly denounces homosexual relations, sodomy and other sexual perversions. These are contrary to the basic law of biology – the procreative function of sex. The only licit form of sexual union, according to the Bible, is that between a man and a woman joined in the indissoluble bond of marriage (Mt 19, 3-9). Naturally, not every sexual act gives rise to new life, but God also desires that the marital union express deep intimacy and total unity in love, so that husband and wife might indeed become one body.
Peter, you should know that a marriage is considered valid only when it is issexually consummated. We know from Scripture that the most important element is not sexual pleasure, but love and a person’s maturation in love. Everything has to be subjected to this process of maturation, and this includes the area of sexuality. All your sexual impulses and desire for physical union with Agatha are a sign that you are normal. Yet this sexual energy must be yoked to the law of love; otherwise, you will become its slave. You must realize that people who ignore the law of love (i.e. the commandments), and always seek to gratify their sexual desires, become slaves each time they feel sexual desire. Technically speaking, this is called sexual addiction. People enslaved by sexual pleasure will be egoistically focused on themselves. They will seek to satisfy their urges in ever more refined ways. Perhaps you are aware of the kinds of acts writers and editors of sex columns in magazines such as Bravo are inviting their readers to perform. They are simply demoralizing their readers by teaching them selfishness and enslavement to sex. Like drug traffickers, they are causing great harm to young people. Of such people Jesus says: “Woe to the one by whom the stumbling block comes” (Mt 18, 7). Peter, you and Agatha have an opportunity to mature in love, and so to prepare for the difficult yet magnificent responsibilities of married life. As in other ways, you can learn to love eachanother by harnessing the sexual drive to the law of love. If you truly love Agatha, you will not touch her body before marriage. Only when, through marriage, you have given her your lifelong pledge of fidelity and promise to be responsible for her and the children born of your union – only then will you have the right to express your love for Agatha in the sexual act. Since true love means taking responsibility for another person for the rest of your life, the sexual act will be an expression of your mutual love only when this condition has been met. True love never dies. It is not subject to changing emotions or moods. Jesus Christ is the only guarantor of such love. That is why the sacrament of marriage is so necessary. It is the main reason why you should put off sexual relations. Remember that it is love that is most important. It is love that gives true happiness. That is why sex has to be harnessed to the law of love. As Scripture says: “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are beneficial. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be dominated by anything... The body is meant not for fornication but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body... Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Should I... make them members of a prostitute? Never!... Shun fornication!” (1 Cor 6, 12-20). The gift of sex will become a true good only when it is used for the purpose it is intended, that is, in the sacrament of marriage according to Christ’s law of love. If you truly love Agatha, you will wait. Otherwise, you will destroy your love. Sincere greetings to you both, along with my prayerful hope that you will continue believing and trusting in Christ. M.P. |
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Lying in hospital after undergoing a spine operation, I realized that the events of the last several weeks had given me a good reason to share my thoughts on marital love. I was born and raised in an exemplary Catholic family. It was your typical family model – mom, dad and two children. I lacked for nothing as a child, although by the age of 12, I began to sense that something was missing, something I couldn’t at first put my finger on. Only later did I realize what it was – love. My search for it took a while, and in the process I committed my share of youthful follies; but in the end I found what I was looking for. Today, after 17 years of marriage, I am a happy husband and a father of ten children, four of which are adopted.
My first moments upon regaining consciousness. I was still alive…. “Would you please try to move your legs…” I could feel them. Before the operation I had to sign a waiver in case “paresis of the lower limbs” resulted from the operation. Thank you, Jesus, for sparing me that eventuality. My wife and eldest son arrived for a visit. My loved ones were beside me. I couldn’t be happier. For the next four days they were constantly at my side. It mattered little that the hospital was 300 km. from home, and that this was the week that two of our children were having their First Holy Communion. No problem. They visited me in shifts. At last, after Magda’s and Martha’s Communion, my wife left the ten children under the care of their grandparents, and moved to a hotel not far from the hospital. Marvellous people, grandma and grandpa! Until my return, they became our children’s mom and dad. Even though they did not live with us, they settled in with the children, to allow my wife to provide me with post-operative care. Day after day, she sat by my hospital bed, held my hand, and sang out her great love for me, her husband. The effect was astounding: “Wound healed by the first intention” – the doctor recorded on my discharge form. What I have described is merely an episode in a 20-year-old love story (we were engaged for three years). As far as I am concerned, our love is “not of this world”. My wife is a gift of God. When I was estranged from Him, I would sometimes catch glimpses of it, and I would ask for this love. Our Lady of Fatima! Before your statue in the cathedral I begged you to find me a woman I could love. You heard my prayer! You could not have found me a better wife. No, marriage is not a dying institution! Could God have made a mistake in creating man and woman? In commanding them to leave their parents and join with one another so completely that they were no longer two bodies but one, could he possibly envision this body separated, allow for a divorce? Never. Not for a moment. It is only people who send others up blind alleys – pornography, “sensational and harmless” contraceptive devices, etc., etc. Let us not be misled by such seductive offers. What about marital frustration, discouragement and boredom? I recently came across a perfect answer to these things in the Bible. Ecclesiastes 9:7-9 and Proverbs 5:15-20 provide married couples with two invaluable pieces of wisdom – wisdom which our personal experience fully bears out. God gave us (man and wife) to one another so that we could be joined together in one body. He knew what He was doing. He knew our life would not be an easy one. That is why He gave us, among other things, our physical bodies, so that we might feel a need for each other, and give ourselves to one another in conjugal love. Joined by such a marvellous bond, we are better able to endure all kinds of stress and frustration, find repose in every weariness, acquire a new zest for life in moments of doubt, and generally survive life’s storms and upheavals. As for boredom and tedium, if we (husband and wife) really want to give ourselves to each other, and have as our primary goal the happiness of our partner, and only secondarily that of our ourselves, believe me, there is no chance of our tiring of each other. It would be like saying, “I’ve eaten so much that I won’t need to eat any more”. Just as in the case of overeating, it is well at times to abstain from food, so in the area of conjugal relations, God has planned it in such a way that we might from time to time grow to miss each other. The wife’s menstrual period is a perfect occasion for this. From my own experience I know that abstinence in this area is very demanding, but how rewarding the fruits: every month it allows us to enjoy a new honeymoon. To those who might be inclined to read a certain idolatry of sex and carnal pleasure into these words, I would simply observe that our carnality is not a god but a marvellous strength which binds us together, allowing us to derive joy from life, even in the face of very difficult trials and misfortunes. In the Sacrament of Matrimony Jesus promises us that he will always remain with us, provided that we do not drive him away. That is why we hold to the following principles of married life: Always to remain together in a state of sanctifying grace. Since Jesus joined us, we want Him to be with us every day. Life is more easily lived when we keep our hearts pure and stay close to Him. To be always together, and to pray together; to be apart only when it is absolutely necessary. Never to consider long separations even at the cost of financial gain, professional success, and other benefits. Two persons in one body, together for better or for worse. Is this possible when time and space separates us? Never let the sun set on your anger… In our 17 years of marriage, only once did we fail to heed Saint Paul’s warning – and this we instantly regretted. Thanks to God, we vowed never to let this happen again. During our first years of marriage, years of “adjusting to” one another, we decided not to erect walls between us, and to base our relationship on total honesty. It was then that we began our tradition of daily evening talks. In our conjugal relations – for us it is the seal of our great love – we hold fast to the principle of never acting against the will of God. We regard contraception as a threat to our love, and we avoid it like the plague. We know it is a tool in Satan’s hand. Despite what our culture tells us, happiness is possible in marriage and a family. I am an example of it! I am convinced that a happy family is first and foremost a happy marriage. God allowed us to share our happiness with five of our own children; and then, after we had built our own house, with four more adopted children. Most recently, as a “reward” he has given us our youngest – our wonderful little Mary. Our children are our greatest treasure and joy. We trust that with God’s help we will raise them to be happy adults. There is no need to look far for happiness – in success, wealth, consumption. It is within us, if only we will see it.
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I began masturbating in my second year of high school. The last time I did it was two months ago. So the habit lasted ? I believe it will not recur again ? for 6 years. I wish here to share my experience, since I am convinced that I have found a way of curing this and other addictions: GOD AND ONLY GOD. Forget about will power. Forget about marriage being the answer; the only thing you are going to change is your manner of sinning, this time using your spouse. I understand your grief. So many attempts at breaking your addiction, and all to no purpose! I¡¯ve been through it. You have to believe there is a way out. It is not as hard as it seems. Only you must believe not in yourself, but in God alone. I tried to kick the habit a dozen times or so. Finally, it hit me that I had lost control, that it was not I who was deciding whether or when to do it. However, realizing that I was dealing with an addiction, did not provide the breakthrough or turning point. My earlier, failed attempts at bucking the habit went more or less like this: first, confessing my sin (albeit very superficially) to a priest in the Sacrament of Reconciliation; then going to Holy Communion. That was it. After that, I would succumb again ? because of television, internet, erotic pictures, and so on. I would fall into a kind of ¡°trance¡±. It is painful thinking of those times. All those wasted days and nights! Such was my ¡°gratitude¡± to God for the graces He had lavished on me. This situation continued for 6 years. Always I was conscious of my impotence and weakness. A lingering sadness and a mild depression accompanied each fall. How did I put an end to it? Once again, it started with the Sacrament of Reconciliation, but this time things were different. This was a real, heartfelt confession, in which I not only admitted my sin, but also told God that I had a real problem, that I was unable to solve it, that I feared for my future, that I had given up hope. My tears flowed freely. I believe it was during this confession that the breakthrough took place. I am convinced that it was precisely then that God spoke to me through His mouthpiece, the priest. He looked at me, leaned over, and consoled me. He restored my hope. He drew me to His bosom as one does a small child. But the priest was important as well. In fact, it was this very priest whom I chose to be my spiritual director. After that landmark confession, it seemed to me that my problems were over. But a few days later, sitting in front of the television, I gave in to temptation once again. The viewer¡¯s discretion notice appeared at the start of a movie, and before long I was watching erotic scenes. God was with me. Turn off the TV and leave the room ? I heard Him say. But I tuned Him out, and would not listen to His voice. The lure of sinful pleasure was stronger. I fell. In a single second, I put our recent reconciliation out of my mind. I know that if today, even after two months of successfully persevering in chastity, I were to sit down at night in front of the television, I would succumb again. Once again, I would be lost to the world and estranged from God. That is why I no longer watch television at night. In fact, I seldom watch it at all. I have no time for it. However, I do have time for prayer. I start my day with God. I carry a rosary with me, and recite it frequently. I pray it when traveling on the bus, or when waiting at the bus stop. At 3:00 p.m. I recite the chaplet of divine mercy. Always I try to end the day by reciting the whole rosary. And even though I am not always able to focus on the mysteries, I at least try, and pray on. Why? Because I feel the power of this prayer! Because thanks to this prayer, I know, for instance, when to turn off the TV, and when to leave the room. Thanks to this prayer, the temptations are growing weaker, and I am starting to walk in the ways of God. I pay visits to the college chapel, something I was always afraid of doing. It is beautiful to be free. Of course, I have other problems as well, even worse than before, but that is because I am better able to notice them. I must continue to be alert and careful in avoiding the occasions of sin. I have to practice custody of the eyes, and know when to look away. I have to exercise prudence in what I read and the company I associate with. I know that if I avail myself of the Sacraments, pray daily, and attend weekday Mass, then with God¡¯s help, I will withstand the temptation. I wish this for everyone. Perhaps
someone will find my witness helpful. To him or her, I would say
by way of summary, pray, take advantage of the Holy Sacraments,
and if you do not already belong to some prayer group or other,
then join one. It helps. Here, then, is the antidote to your addictions Michael, aged 20 |
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I am writing this testimony in the hope that it will help those who are addicted to the sin of masturbation. I do not exactly recall when I began abusing myself, but I know that even as a young girl I took an inordinate interest in my body. Touching my private parts gave me pleasure, and soon developed into a habit. Puberty set in. An extravagant imagination turned my thoughts to impure acts. Along with this came magazines larded with erotic stories. The worst thing was that I was aware of the evil of these deeds, and still I was unable to put an end to them. An inner sadness accompanied each act. I swore I would no longer give in to my urges. But human beings are too weak to conquer sin by their own efforts. I did not understand this. I wanted to do this on my own, but I got nowhere. The whole business exhausted my efforts, and I would have thrown in the towel, if the Holy Spirit had not come to my rescue. He prompted me to make a general confession. For several days I prepared myself for the event. Above all, I begged the Lord to give me courage. And He heard me. During the confession, I unloaded all my troubles on Jesus. Instantly I felt a great weight drop from my shoulders. I truly met Jesus in that confessional. Prior to this, I had gone out of my way to tell the confessor as little as possible. I was too ashamed. After my general confession, I did not immediately stop abusing myself. Satan had not given me up for lost, and I was to experience moments of weakness many times yet. But I noticed a difference. I was committing the sin less and less often. Jesus healed me slowly, by degrees. I grew to understand many things — things I had not stopped to consider before. I understood that shame, the result of sin, would remain with me for a good while. This was to remind me not to fall into the snare of sin again. Even though several years have now passed, I must still be watchful of my thoughts, what I read and look at. When temptation arises, I ask for God’s help. Masturbation is a sin, which leaves deep traces on the soul. To this day, I am plagued by excessive shyness, timidity, fear of people, and a tendency to be reclusive. I pray for all those who struggle with this sin. I pray that they do not despair but place all their hope in Jesus. A sincere confession, ardent prayer, and an exercise of willpower should help. When Jesus heals us, it is important that we place unbounded trust in Him, and also that we forgive ourselves. It took me a while to consider writing this testimony. I recall that your magazine’s testimonies of young people on the subject of masturbation had a great impact on my own journey. I admired their courage and openness regarding a topic around which I felt so much shame. Today I am standing with them. My great hope is that this witness will speak to someone and signal in that person the beginnings of a new life. Mirka |
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